Fun Facts About Champagne!

I just stumbled across this informational sheet on champagne from www.wine.com, and while I haven't done a lot of posts on booze, I thought it was kind of a cool summary. For example, I never knew that champagne started out as an accident, and that the bubbles were viewed as a quality problem.

I love this sort of foodolution (evolution in the food world). Happy accidents turning into great new dishes. Or a lack of ingredients leading to amazing culinary breakthroughs.

I wonder if the monk who "invented" champagne chats with the Earl of Sandwich in heaven, comparing notes about who's invention is the greatest?

Have a look. Interesting stuff.

The deceptive side of butteralikes

And they didn't even know it. She waited until after dark in daylight savings time, so no one would see.

She'd obviously been listening to Mrs. Filbert, who was a big fan of duplicity.

Here's a wedding shot of that happy couple.

You'd think she'd look happier. After all, her margarine didn't require pinching and kneading.

(PINCH THAT COLOR BERRY!)

At least her hands could rest easy, even if her mind couldn't. It was nearly miraculous.

So easy to spread, on husband or bread. 

Inspiring songs of joy like this one.

But at the end of the day, is the family really fooled? More importantly, is it worth risking Dad's wrath?

It seems safer trying to fool Mother Nature, and she's in charge of hurricanes. 

Oleo. 

Margarine. 

Buttery spread. 

No matter what you call it, it's good, good, good! And so is this cover art.

Happy Halloweeny!

 

For several years I threw a Halloween party with my ex. We were young back then, so the focus was primarily on beer, but I did my best to offer snacks sufficient to the task of soaking up alcohol. At one party, a guest wisely crashed at our house rather than driving home. He was quite ill the next day, and told his wife he'd been poisoned by our fish balls.

Reader, no such balls were served.

Weenies were part of the menu, though they were miniature and simmered in a vat of barbecue sauce. By the time the parties were over, they'd undergone some sort of unfortunate alchemy, shrinking and toughening until they were mere hardened nubbins of their former glorious selves.

I came across the image above, which offers festive alternatives to the saucy piggies I served back then. And I have questions.

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's break it down into components. First, the menu.

Initially it seems pretty straightforward. Harmless even. But why the ALL CAPS demand for skinlessness? And how does one create Jack O'Lantern carrots? And do we really need doughnuts AND Sherbet AND cake? 

Not to mention, WHAT ABOUT KETCHUP?

Moving on, let's talk about decor.

How does one attach a carrot tip to a hot dog? And is shoe polish food safe? And are those the Jack O'Lantern carrots of previous mention?

Next up, the ghost.

While I commend the creature for offering assembly instructions, the notes are missing a few key details. Do you cut a hole in the napkin? What do you tie it with? What are the arms made of? Is the ghost talking on the phone?

And finally, this creature:

"Red Hot Goblin" sounds like either a band name or the title of an extremely blue movie, but at least we know what the creature's arms are made of. 

It's been a wild week with lab monkeys escaping from crashed trucks, and people arguing about whether it's better to give out candy or actual food. But I have to admit that taping little masks on wieners was not something I expected to consider as a party activity. 

Whether you give it a try or not, I wish you a BOOtiful Halloween!

Aprons. Because No One Wants Cream of Mushroom on Their Pinstripe Trousers

 

Cooking is messy business. This guy knows it. You know it. I know it.

There's not always time for a man to change before supper, and guests arrive whether you want them to or not. Men have two options: risk your good slacks, or put on a gol darn apron. 

According to the container ad above, beer helps ease the shame of apron wearing. (Assuming you can figure out how to get the can open.) 

Some guys aren't into beer. Luckily, Don Draper brought back the glam of cocktails.

LOL, Galliano! I see what you did there!

Julia Child showed us the joys of cooking with wine, and this guy definitely got the memo: 

Not everyone drinks, so this little wifey is ready with an alternative.

Supportive wives are such treasures. They'll even help you tie your apron if you can't quite work out the process.

The wife below looks ready to giggle at hubby's carrot skills.

His trousers might be protected, but pants aren't the only things at risk of smears when men man the stove. This kitchen is a MESS: 

His wife should have tasked him with something significantly less complicated. Smart women start them simple.

Once your man has mastered "just add milk" cooking, he might be ready for actual recipes. In which case, have I got a cookbook for you!

This guy is ready. 

Wine? 

Check. 

BBQ tools? 

Check. 

Tactical apron? 

Check. 

The illustrations in the book are... exceptional. Here's one example:

The dude is salting a rotisserie apple and playing his belly like a drum with a wooden spoon. 

EVERY

WIFE'S

DREAM!

While not wearing an apron per se, he's covering what needs to be covered after making time to take off his trousers.

Let's all take a moment to recognize that aprons are a national treasure. Though in this case, fig leaves should probably get an honorable mention.