Aprons. Because No One Wants Cream of Mushroom on Their Pinstripe Trousers

 

Cooking is messy business. This guy knows it. You know it. I know it.

There's not always time for a man to change before supper, and guests arrive whether you want them to or not. Men have two options: risk your good slacks, or put on a gol darn apron. 

According to the container ad above, beer helps ease the shame of apron wearing. (Assuming you can figure out how to get the can open.) 

Some guys aren't into beer. Luckily, Don Draper brought back the glam of cocktails.

LOL, Galliano! I see what you did there!

Julia Child showed us the joys of cooking with wine, and this guy definitely got the memo: 

Not everyone drinks, so this little wifey is ready with an alternative.

Supportive wives are such treasures. They'll even help you tie your apron if you can't quite work out the process.

The wife below looks ready to giggle at hubby's carrot skills.

His trousers might be protected, but pants aren't the only things at risk of smears when men man the stove. This kitchen is a MESS: 

His wife should have tasked him with something significantly less complicated. Smart women start them simple.

Once your man has mastered "just add milk" cooking, he might be ready for actual recipes. In which case, have I got a cookbook for you!

This guy is ready. 

Wine? 

Check. 

BBQ tools? 

Check. 

Tactical apron? 

Check. 

The illustrations in the book are... exceptional. Here's one example:

The dude is salting a rotisserie apple and playing his belly like a drum with a wooden spoon. 

EVERY

WIFE'S

DREAM!

While not wearing an apron per se, he's covering what needs to be covered after making time to take off his trousers.

Let's all take a moment to recognize that aprons are a national treasure. Though in this case, fig leaves should probably get an honorable mention.

Where there's smoke, there might be cigarettes

This book was my cocktail hour reading a few weeks ago. I had to pick it up, because just look at the cover!

I love the way the graphic floats dreamily on the green background, pretending it's real grass. Peering into the scene, I can almost taste the creamy, cigarette-ash flavored cheese, and the sugary zing of the Riesling. Unfortunately the book's contents were very disappointing, so don't rush out to buy it. But it did get me thinking about the whole smoke while you eat thing. 

Or even, smoke while you cook. 

And so I went in search of books which seem to combine the two. I couldn't find many, but check this one out:

What I don't understand is if she's so busy, why is she simply standing still, holding a spoon and staring deep into the burning ember? You'd think she'd at least turn toward the stove and give a pot a stir. Makes me think there's more than just tobacco in that cigarette.

Contrast this woman:

I like her a great deal more. Unlike with the previous book, this lady doesn't bother pretending. She's going to sit down and enjoy herself, and she doesn't care who knows it. Bubbling pots be damned.

Given how common smoking was, I'm surprised I couldn't find more cookbooks with smoking women on the cover. I uncovered a handful with pipe-smoking men manning barbecue grills, but that's not what I was looking for. If you come across photos of lady smokers at the stove, please share them with us on the Cookbook Love Facebook page, and we'll be happy to feature them.