Viva le Hot Dog!

Cookbook Love loves hot dogs!

And so does Cutco. And so does their illustrator, Frank Marcello. Just look at this fine fellow fencing, confident in his meat selection:

Why he's parried and thrust her burger nearly down to the handle!

Consider his form. And his jaunty shirt. Wish I could find curtains in that fabric.

But on to the recipe:

Check out the loooong arm of this Pisan!

I like that Frank Marcello put the leaning tower in the picture, as a play on "pizza". But he must not have read the recipe because it includes no bun, and his illustration includes no bacon.

Which is a major violation: BACON MUST BE RESPECTED.

Or maybe he was on to something. After all, putting the canino in a bun after grilling would make it more pizza-like.

I guess Frank knows franks.

Summer Time is Barbecue Time!

I would so love to meet Frank Marcello, the illustrator who created this fabulous image from a 1960's Cutco cookbook. No Ozzie and Harriet idyll for him; nope, kids are about to kill themselves and each other, pets create havoc, and one dad sleeps through it all.

He's a funny one old Frank. Click here for more examples of his work.

Now I'm off to find a pair of those sexy lace up shoes...

All Things Chicken

I don't think Frank Marcello likes chickens.

Either that, or he loves them but applies the writing axiom that you have to let bad things happen to your favorite characters.

Just look at this series, apparently featuring Hanna Bell Lecter:

She chased him down, held him up like a victory bouquet, and then proceeded to get him drunk, meanwhile planning a coq au vin with some nice fava beans on the side.

And here he is at the last, bald scalp now covered by a hat, comb set aside for a garnish.

Bubbling away as if all is well, when clearly, that inner tube is not going to save him.

Poor chicken.

I wonder if Frank was a vegetarian, trying to make a point?

Oh, Horseradish!

Turns out you can't always count on Frank Marcello, factually speaking.

First off, that's no horseradish. That's a reg'lar radish. Or maybe even a turnip.

Horseradish looks like this:

Just kidding.

It really looks like this:

So that's problem number one.

Problem number two is that horses are allergic to the stuff. It can cause all sorts of problems, some of which are quite embarrassing. It's downright irresponsible to create illustrations like this which could cause people to poison their prize ponies.

He's lucky I'm not litigious.

And that I don't own a horse.

Problem number three is that this critter looks more like a donkey than a horse. OK, so his ears aren't that big, but check out his attitude. That's a donk-eyed look if I ever saw one.

That is of course unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.

Run, Beef, RUN!

One question.

What IS this cowboy holding?

Does he have an armful of Christmas packages, while forming an invisible snowball to throw at the beef?

Ok, two questions.

Is he winking at said beef?

That cow might think about hoofing it pronto. And that's no bull.

Shortcake: It's Not Just for Dessert Anymore

I have no idea why, but Diane Sawyer seems to have an opinion about this dish. Check it out:

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/page?id=13811704

She doesn't really seem the type to me. Not that I watch her much, but I picture her lunching on something like jicama salad on a bed of edamame ragu topped with candied free-range chicken.

Or does that seem harsh?

No offense to Ms. Sawyer intended. It's just a dish that sounds like it would be peddled to the stars. For all I know, she's a porkaholic.

As for the recipe, I must object. How can it be called SHORTCAKE if the ham goo is poured over toast? Really? Shouldn't it be titled Ham Rarebit sans Fromage?

And, in case you wondered if I hadn't noticed, what in blue blazes is "condiment sauce"???

Please comment if you have a clue. I have none.

Crusty Sausage Cakes

Ya gotta love the title.

The title is so great, I almost don't need to add a thing.

In fact, I don't think I will.

Oh Frank. You are Such a Ham.

Here are a variety of pig pictures from Cutco Meat and Poultry Cookery. Clearly Frank, the illustrator, thinks that swine are just thrilled to pieces to offer themselves up for our feasting pleasure.

Just look at them frolicking in various settings.

1. Juggling:2. Drunk:3. Crowned king of all swine:

4. Getting high?5. Starring in minor theatrics:

6. Tanning:7. Acting as chief pillow and butt rest:

You'll find some of these illustrations in recipes to come. Others will simply stand on their own merits.

Pork out.

20th Century Wieners! The Dogs Kids Love to Sprinkle with Parmesan

Everyone loves hotdogs. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. (Click it. You know you want to.)

Armor says it. Oscar Mayer says it. It must be true.

Cutco obviously believed it as well; it includes a whole chapter titled "Wieners."

Here are some kids enjoying a string, as if to prove the songs.

And here's a recipe in case your kids are bored with the same old dog in a bun. (Or cut up into unchokable chunks if they are little.)

If they are anything like my kids when they were young, they'll want nothing to do with this dish. But then, I was a bad parent and didn't teach them to eat what was placed before them. Hopefully you can learn from my mistake and tell them to clean their plate or lose out on the Jello.

I wonder what the 21st Century Weiner will be like?

Suggestions appreciated.

Nothing Says Variety Like Spiced Tongue

Oh, Cutco. I do so love you.

Take their handling of variety meats. It's just offal. They include pictures in case you find yourself in a market looking at stacks of unlabeled flesh, and need to tell the difference between sweetbreads and brains.

Obviously, the page is useful. You just might want to ignore the illustration of the animals dancing happily at the top, prior to their thymus glands, livers, kidneys, brains, et. al. having been, shall we say, removed.

(Try especially hard not to look at the little guy in the front. I think he's a veal, though he reads more like a cross between a kangaroo and a baby dinosaur.)

But on to a recipe!

From the looks of the picture, I'm guessing that hubby thinks she bears a spiced tongue, but not in a good way. He looks like he'd be happy to boil it, let it soak overnight, and then peel the skin off himself.

Perhaps then he could get back to his paper.

Damn it. Tongue night again?

That's Just Wrong

Frank Marcello, the Cutco cookbook illustrator, cracks me up. He would SO not get away with these illustrations today.

Take a gander into the way his mind pictures the world, and its people.

Brontosaurus ribs anyone?

Cornelius's Favorite: K-E-double-L-O-double-good Every Day Hamburgers

The Cutco cookbook includes six recipes for hamburgers. This one is the every day version, containing, of course, corn flakes.

Note to cook: I'd use the sugar free variety if I were you.

Here's the recipe.

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a little walk down corn flake memory lane:

New Cookbook Day! Cutco Meat and Poultry Cookery

It's time for a new cookbook!

DiDi found this little beauty for my birthday, and I can't begin to tell you how much joy it gave me.

Best $1.50 she ever spent.

It's a promotional piece produced for the cutlery division of Wear-Ever Aluminum, Inc. in 1961.

Here's what it looks like on the inside front cover:

All the meat you could ever hope for in one place!

The best thing about this book is the illustrations. Oh, the illustrations!

The drawings are done by one Frank Marcello. Unfortunately, I can't find much about him.

He's got quite a sense of humor. I'm surprised that Wear-Ever let him get away with half the stuff he put in. Here are a few classic examples:

You'll be hearing more about the illustrations in coming posts, so for now I'll just comment on this last one.

What the heck is going on in this kitchen? Look at the position of mom's feet. Is she pigeon toed, or is there more to the story? They both seem to be happy about it, though the girl's smile looks just the tiniest bit more genuine to me.

Hmmm.... Let me know what YOU think.

Stay tuned for more meat and illustrated hilarity, 1960s style!