Join a Pig Club for Fun Every Day!

I just don't know what to think. And I don't know what the designers were thinking.

But there's one thing I DO know. Pigs in Blankets are the perfect dish for parties. 

Ok, I'll say one thing more. Did you know there was an effort in World War I to get kids to raise pigs? (Me either.)

Don't delay. Join a pig club today.

Happy Halloweeny!

 

For several years I threw a Halloween party with my ex. We were young back then, so the focus was primarily on beer, but I did my best to offer snacks sufficient to the task of soaking up alcohol. At one party, a guest wisely crashed at our house rather than driving home. He was quite ill the next day, and told his wife he'd been poisoned by our fish balls.

Reader, no such balls were served.

Weenies were part of the menu, though they were miniature and simmered in a vat of barbecue sauce. By the time the parties were over, they'd undergone some sort of unfortunate alchemy, shrinking and toughening until they were mere hardened nubbins of their former glorious selves.

I came across the image above, which offers festive alternatives to the saucy piggies I served back then. And I have questions.

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's break it down into components. First, the menu.

Initially it seems pretty straightforward. Harmless even. But why the ALL CAPS demand for skinlessness? And how does one create Jack O'Lantern carrots? And do we really need doughnuts AND Sherbet AND cake? 

Not to mention, WHAT ABOUT KETCHUP?

Moving on, let's talk about decor.

How does one attach a carrot tip to a hot dog? And is shoe polish food safe? And are those the Jack O'Lantern carrots of previous mention?

Next up, the ghost.

While I commend the creature for offering assembly instructions, the notes are missing a few key details. Do you cut a hole in the napkin? What do you tie it with? What are the arms made of? Is the ghost talking on the phone?

And finally, this creature:

"Red Hot Goblin" sounds like either a band name or the title of an extremely blue movie, but at least we know what the creature's arms are made of. 

It's been a wild week with lab monkeys escaping from crashed trucks, and people arguing about whether it's better to give out candy or actual food. But I have to admit that taping little masks on wieners was not something I expected to consider as a party activity. 

Whether you give it a try or not, I wish you a BOOtiful Halloween!

20th Century Wieners! The Dogs Kids Love to Sprinkle with Parmesan

Everyone loves hotdogs. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. (Click it. You know you want to.)

Armor says it. Oscar Mayer says it. It must be true.

Cutco obviously believed it as well; it includes a whole chapter titled "Wieners."

Here are some kids enjoying a string, as if to prove the songs.

And here's a recipe in case your kids are bored with the same old dog in a bun. (Or cut up into unchokable chunks if they are little.)

If they are anything like my kids when they were young, they'll want nothing to do with this dish. But then, I was a bad parent and didn't teach them to eat what was placed before them. Hopefully you can learn from my mistake and tell them to clean their plate or lose out on the Jello.

I wonder what the 21st Century Weiner will be like?

Suggestions appreciated.

Cookbook of the week for April 2, 2021: Quick and Easy Meals for Two (1952)

The cookbook of the week for April 2, 2021 was this little cutie, Quick and Easy Meals for Two, published in 1952! Here's our kickoff video for it:

The title page offers a preview of the adorable illustrations. Animals are always happy to be consumed in old cookbooks.

Each section opens with an illustration like this one, in which the woman apparently has an actual menu board in her home and yet tries to convince us menu planning is easy.

The whole book is structured around the idea of menus, which is actually kind of handy. And several sections are organized by season, featuring what's fresh during that time of year. Here we are, thinking about summer, for example:

The idea of crunchy devilled eggs confused me slightly. Here's the recipe, which was significantly less bad than it could have been.

So, what are we having for dinner?

Let's start with salad. This one seems like a LOT of work.

Maybe just an easy tossed salad instead. With a special home-enhanced dressing.

Or if you prefer, we can go straight to dessert. For once you can eat with your fingers. Sort of.

I'm always leery of recipes including baby food, but what do I know?

This actually sounds straight-up delicious.

The book offers helpful tips for those who are just starting out in the kitchen.

Like this tip for feeding men wieners.

Can't speak for good old boys, but I'd eat this!

Is this one man-friendly? Cabbagey chili with plops of mashed potatoes?

There's a section for what I call "desperation dinners."

Luckily, I rarely get THIS desperate:

Happy hubby seems to like what he sees in this opener to the appetizer section:

Here's one reason why:

Wondering if these dishes end up being a mood killer though:

If all else fails, put on a pretty apron, and let your pressure cooker sing you a happy tune.

Quick and Easy Meals for Two is a lovely, fun little book, and a great addition to any cookbook collection. 

 

National Cheese Pizza Day! (Plus Hotdogs)

Today is National Cheese Pizza Day! Yippee!

In honor of this day of all days, I offer you the following recipe for Polka Dot Pizzas.

OK, so it's technically NOT cheese pizza. But it is pizza, sort of. And it does have cheese on it, as you can see by the picture.

It comes from Betty Crocker's 1975 Cookbook for Boys & Girls. You can see these very chillins below, enjoying the fruits of their labors.

 

I like this early example of multiculturalism. And that the guy on the left wears an apron adorned with strange farm animals. And that the blond girl in the middle sports a half eaten banana.

Here is the recipe, so that you can make it at home!

Be sure to notice the use of "baking mix", aka, Bisquick.

In case this part is confusing, they've included a close up of Frankfurter positioning:

Now bake it, let it cool a tiny bit, and voila! Biscuit dough, cheddar, hot dog pizza, ready to eat!

Please to enjoy.

Magical Tricks with Flavor!

I just discovered a goldmine! The Minute Rice website offers a collection of vintage recipes, including this one, which I thought was appropriate given the holiday season:

Recipes on the ads include such beauties as Thrifty Drumstick Surprise (made with hamburger), Minute Rice and Tuna Treat, and Hot Diggity Stew.

Yes. I said it. Hot Diggity Stew. 

That's where the magic happens.

Viva le Hot Dog!

Cookbook Love loves hot dogs!

And so does Cutco. And so does their illustrator, Frank Marcello. Just look at this fine fellow fencing, confident in his meat selection:

Why he's parried and thrust her burger nearly down to the handle!

Consider his form. And his jaunty shirt. Wish I could find curtains in that fabric.

But on to the recipe:

Check out the loooong arm of this Pisan!

I like that Frank Marcello put the leaning tower in the picture, as a play on "pizza". But he must not have read the recipe because it includes no bun, and his illustration includes no bacon.

Which is a major violation: BACON MUST BE RESPECTED.

Or maybe he was on to something. After all, putting the canino in a bun after grilling would make it more pizza-like.

I guess Frank knows franks.

Valentines to Relish!

Four our second day of the valentine countdown, I figured we might as well not waste time, and jump right into the hot dog cards.

No commentary. Just lots of weiners, wurst, and relish.

National Cheese Pizza Day Take 2

All right, so I'm not quite over National Cheese Pizza Day. I'm declaring it a week right here from my little corner of Massachusetts.

Today's version doesn't include hot dogs, which may relieve you. It comes from Betty Crocker's 1967 New Outdoor Cookbook (reprinted in 1973.)

Here's the title page, which includes an illustration of a groovy patio that I'd like to own some day.

And here's a photo of the finished result.

  

It looks pretty amazing, doesn't it? Reminds me of the grilled pizza fad from the last few years. Plus it looks like simple, classic, "real Italian" pizza, the kind I imagine enjoying in an osteria in Naples.

Sadly, looks can be deceiving. Take a peek at the recipe and you'll see what I mean.

Yep, you read it right. Catsup. Or Ketchup, if you prefer.

And bisquit mix. Again.

The page itself is bumpy and dimpled from some sort of exposure to water. Perhaps it was left open on a picnic table in the rain, while Mom fried bacon for Squaw Corn. Or perhaps they are the marks of tears, shed from a heart that yearns for cheese pizza.

Real cheese pizza.

Summer Time is Barbecue Time!

I would so love to meet Frank Marcello, the illustrator who created this fabulous image from a 1960's Cutco cookbook. No Ozzie and Harriet idyll for him; nope, kids are about to kill themselves and each other, pets create havoc, and one dad sleeps through it all.

He's a funny one old Frank. Click here for more examples of his work.

Now I'm off to find a pair of those sexy lace up shoes...