While You are Waiting: Whiz Burgers!

I'm working on a fantabulous holiday appetizer post for you, and in the process, came across the following that I just had to get out pronto:

I'll be back with more Kraft fun shortly!

Run, Beef, RUN!

One question.

What IS this cowboy holding?

Does he have an armful of Christmas packages, while forming an invisible snowball to throw at the beef?

Ok, two questions.

Is he winking at said beef?

That cow might think about hoofing it pronto. And that's no bull.

Cornelius's Favorite: K-E-double-L-O-double-good Every Day Hamburgers

The Cutco cookbook includes six recipes for hamburgers. This one is the every day version, containing, of course, corn flakes.

Note to cook: I'd use the sugar free variety if I were you.

Here's the recipe.

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a little walk down corn flake memory lane:

Calf's Foot Jelly Part 2

Silly me. My birthday post on Calf's Foot Jelly did not include the second page. Apologies for the time delay, but I think it is still worth posting.

Who would really question the belief that the beauty and flavor of jellies made with feet are superior to that made from horn shavings and hoofs?

Let's take a look on the inside to prove the point:

When working with the beloved whole, you get all that delicious subcutaneous connective tissue, navicular bursa, and fetlock joint juice.

How can the pre-packaged powdered stuff possibly compare?

Regardless of the truthfulness of this page, deaf ears seem to have prevailed. JELL-O is king.

READER BONUS: While Googling for calf's foot images, I made an interesting discovery. Turns out some people prefer to wear the feet rather than turning them into tasty gelatin desserts. If you fall into that camp, here's a pair you may enjoy:

Now THOSE are some party shoes! They give the term "jello shots" a whole new meaning.

Tootsies and Jammies

Enough about seafood! Where's the beef?!?

Actually, I'm not sure this entry qualifies as beef. But I'll let you be the judge.

Here's the thing: I never realized that calf's foot jelly was jelly. I mean, I've heard of it before, and had the usual shivering "Eeeewwwwww" response that most of us do from our view in this latest millennium.

But I never realized that it was sweet. I'd pictured one of those 1960's aspic affairs, some sort of jellied consume upon which ladies lunched.

But no. This is sweet. Three cups of sugar sweet. (Or to taste. Depending on how sweet you like your cow toes.)

Pay close attention to the first step: clean the feet carefully.

Now I don't know much about raising cattle. But I'm imagining that cows don't exactly tip-toe around the pasture, trying to avoid the patties in their path. They may be smarter than sheep, but even the most cautious bovine must step in poo.

Seriously.

So I like that this is the first step. In case you are the same person who fell for the city eel of previous report.

Wash the darned feet. Carefully. Use an old toothbrush if you must.

I also like the image of the jelly filtering through an old pair of jammies, knotted around an overturned chair.

Heartwarming.

And while the recipe doesn't state it, you should probably wash those as well.

Mock Turtle Soup

At first I thought one might make mock turtle soup to protect the poor little guys. That's what we do in 2011; we think about protecting species such as green turtles. But of course this was a different day and age. Turtle soup was prestigious; turtles were expensive. The thrifty cook did what she could to imitate the upper crust without having to dip into her pin money.

So I started out thinking that making this soup verged on saving the ecosystem, or was at the very least a random act of turtle kindness. But then I actually read the recipe.

Here's what Wikipedia has to say about mock turtle soup:

Mock turtle soup is an English soup that was created in the mid-18th century as a cheaper imitation of green turtle soup. It often uses brains and organ meats such as calf's head or a calf's foot to duplicate the texture and flavour of the original's turtle meat.

Mrs. Fowle's Mock Turtle Soup: "Take a large calf's head. Scald off the hair. Boil it until the horn is tender, then cut it into slices about the size of your finger, with as little lean as possible. Have ready three pints of good mutton or veal broth, put in it half a pint of Madeira wine, half a teaspoonful of thyme, pepper, a large onion, and the peel of a lemon chop't very small. A ¼ of a pint of oysters chop't very small, and their liquor; a little salt, the juice of two large onions, some sweet herbs, and the brains chop't. Stand all these together for about an hour, and send it up to the table with the forcemeat balls made small and the yolks of hard eggs."

Now I'm no vegetarian. Beef is good food. I love steak, and burgers, and roast beef, and shepherd's pie. But there is something about taking the head of a poor little cow tyke and boiling it until the meat falls off that makes me feel worse for it than I might for a turtle.

I think I'll have a veggie burger for lunch...