Smiles all around!

Studies show that the act of smiling actually makes you feel more positive, whether you want to or not. So it only stands to reason that chewing up a grin which you've shoved in your own smiling pie hole couldn't help but lift your spirits! 

Here are a few options for dopamine boosts, starting with meat.

According to Pink Floyd wisdom, eating your protein is a requirement if you want your pudding. In this case pudding=cookies.

If you're like me, and salty is more your jam, check out this flavorful grinning fish.

Of course this isn't the only swimming smiler. We all know and love the tasty bite-size snack that smiles back.

And for smiles AND songs, you really can't beat a banana.

Now that you've stuffed yourself with grins, pass on the joy. Smiling is infectious!

Pancake Races

Flipping flap jacks has never been so much fun!

20th Century Wieners! The Dogs Kids Love to Sprinkle with Parmesan

Everyone loves hotdogs. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. (Click it. You know you want to.)

Armor says it. Oscar Mayer says it. It must be true.

Cutco obviously believed it as well; it includes a whole chapter titled "Wieners."

Here are some kids enjoying a string, as if to prove the songs.

And here's a recipe in case your kids are bored with the same old dog in a bun. (Or cut up into unchokable chunks if they are little.)

If they are anything like my kids when they were young, they'll want nothing to do with this dish. But then, I was a bad parent and didn't teach them to eat what was placed before them. Hopefully you can learn from my mistake and tell them to clean their plate or lose out on the Jello.

I wonder what the 21st Century Weiner will be like?

Suggestions appreciated.

Bitter indeed

I've spent the spring in our new home watching mysterious plants pop up here and there around the small yard. Several types grew quickly and were getting large, so I researched them and discovered they were varieties of dock. You've undoubtedly heard of burdock, or encountered it in the hair of a beloved pet or young child. Dock tends to be aggressively invasive, so I realized it was time for them to go before seeds arrived and they took over.

I've had a longstanding interest in foraging and have nibbled bits of greenery and berries across the decades. All those experiments went well, and I thought small samples were harmless.

(Queue the foreboding music.)

I'd read a decent amount about dock, and knew they were used in lots of traditional medicines. Both leaves and roots were reportedly edible. So when I dug up a root like a fat white carrot, I thought why not give it a try? 

So I ate some. Not much. Probably a piece about the size of a quarter.

It did not go well.

I spent the night in the emergency room. 0/10, would not recommend. 

I've done more googling since coming home, and am still convinced what I ate was dock. It's not clear why I had such a bad reaction. 

As a way to vent my spleen about the experience, I decided to see what sort of vintage cookbooks or recipes might exist for the stuff.

And what, pray tell, did I find? 

I'm trying to imagine the mind of the artist who designed ads for this company, but each time I enter in I get scared and have to slam the door shut on it. But I'm pretty sure they're a close relation to Sweeney Todd.

Here's another of the company's idea of a good time:

Wha wha wha what???

Animals were featured in several ads. Like this inexplicable bit of imagery:

(Is she bleaching her children?)

Sometimes the ads focused on human children rather than puppies.

CHILDREN.

Like this poor wain, whose face seems to be saying, "Please mother, might I have something to eat?"

Then there's this child, who looks downright giddy in contrast. Perhaps they've already enjoyed a few sips of the elixir.

The back of the card is equally charming, plus packed with useful intel:

And then there's this. For which I shall offer no comments.

I'm still recovering from my bad decision making, and am tired. So I'll leave you with one final image:

Startling in its vividness. Shocking in it's timelessness. Ugly on multiple levels, though different from the ugliness of my emergency room experience.

The moral of the story my friends, is to be careful what you eat in your backyard, and who you hire to do your advertising. Blood purity just isn't worth it.