I was told that since I am now a resident of New England, I am required to be a fan of the Sox, the Pats, and the Celtics.

(Celts?)

Given that the Patriots are playing in the Super Bowl this weekend, I developed a menu which proves my allegiance, providing an appropriate color scheme and using signature New England ingredients like cranberries, maple syrup, clams, and blueberries.

Go Pats!

Snacky

Ranch Style Oyster Crackers

Patriotic Chips and North Shore Dip

Red, White and Blue Nachos

Meaty

Spicy Cranberry Meatballs

Bacon Jalapeno Bites

Mini Ballpark Dogs

Desserty

Blueberry, Blackberry, and Strawberry Skewers with MapleNilla Sauce

Nantucket Cranberry Pie

Ranch Style Oyster Crackers


3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 (1 ounce) package dry Ranch-style dressing mix
1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1 (12 ounce) package oyster crackers

Preheat oven to 275. In a mixing bowl, whisk together vegetable oil, ranch-style dressing mix, dill weed, lemon pepper and garlic powder. Pour over the crackers in a medium bowl. Stir until the coated. Arrange on a large baking sheet. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes.


North Shore Dip

1 8oz container prepared French onion dip
1 can chopped clams

Mince clams extra fine and combine with French onion dip. Serve with Terra Stripes & Blues chips.



















Red, White, and Blue Nachos


Blue corn tortilla chips
Montgomery Jack cheese
Sharp white Cheddar cheese
Chunky salsa

Arrange tortilla chips in a single layer on a cookie sheet. Shred cheeses on chips to cover evenly but not completely. Place in hot oven until cheese is melted. Use a spoon to dribble salsa over the top; try to get some salsa on each chip.


Spicy Cran Meatballs

1 14oz can Jellied Cranberry Sauce
1 12oz bottle Heinz® Chili Sauce
1 2 lb bag frozen cocktail-size meatballs

Thoroughly mix cranberry and chili sauce in a large saucepan or crockpot. Add meatballs and heat until meatballs are heated through. Serve with toothpicks.

MapleNilla Sauce

1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mascarpone
1/4 cup maple syrup
2 teaspoons vanilla

Whisk all ingredients together until well blended. Serve with fruit skewers as dipping sauce.

One more reason to make a muffin

A friend from my writing group brought homemade chocolate chip cookies to our meeting last night, saying they were a coping mechanism for managing the stress of egg prices, airplane crashes, and global unrest. In truth, we all looked a bit puffier than we did a few months ago. Food is so often a source of solace.

I'm not much of a baker, but there's something deeply satisfying about mixing up a dough or a batter, popping it in the oven, smelling the smells, and then biting into the warm rewards of those efforts. Our home is currently low-carb for health reasons, so defaulting to an afternoon of baking is more challenging now. 

As an alternative, I went on a hunt for vintage political cookbooks, but the results were disappointing. I did however stumble down a rabbit hole which I'll now invite you to enter: an explanation for why baking is such a comfort.

There are a ton of these little guys wafting around the internet. Most follow this model; a vintage kitchen with a female in period garb looking varyingly happy or deranged. Here are a few more examples.

But a few took a different spin, featuring gadgets, hedgehogs, sloths, and an unsurprising clutter of cats.

I didn't find the cookbooks I was looking for today, but I did discover these treasures, proving the paraphrased wisdom of the prophet McJagger:

One can't always get what one wants (like eating the rich), but one often finds that one does receive what one needs.

Ta-ta for now, I'm off to buy some flour.

Night Night Little Piggies

I started a new writing project this week, and I'm tired tired tired.

So before this little piggy trots off to bed, here are a few creepy vintage pork images found around the interwebs for your twisted viewing pleasure:

Last but not what in the weirdness is this?

Kitchen Snark Coloring book

Do you love cookbooks? Need a distraction from the cares of the world? The Kitchen Snark Coloring Book is here to help! You'll find 50 pages filled with humor, wisdom, memories, and a touch of snark, all waiting for your creative flair. Color the stress away with this timeless book of vintage fun.

Amazon LINK -  https://amzn.to/37JNptD

to create something fun connected to one of my other loves: vintage cookbooks!

Homemade biscuit and homemade chocolate gravy with butter

Melissa Underwood Hodge Gravy:: 1-cup sugar -1-tablespoons butter -1-1/2 cup milk - 2 tablespoons flour -3 -tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder mix together and boil and take a whisper until Thick .. Biscuit::; 2-cups self -rising flour -1-1/3 cup shortening -3/4 cup milk --- shortening into flour add milk and form dough into balls. Place dough onto lightly floured and knead 4-5 times . Roll out to 1/2 inch thick. Cut with biscuit cutter or cup .place on ungreased bake sheet .bake at 425 deg for 15 minutes

Canning as art?

Canning as art form! And I can't manage to make a batch of refrigerator pickles.

Heart Shaped Fish Croquettes

There's no time like RIGHT NOW to start thinking about VD goodies! Especially all you wives out there.

Apparently Pet Milk agreed that the fastest way to a man's heart was through his stomach, and so they published this booklet in the 1940s.

It was FREE if you can believe such a thing, and apparently contained recipes like this one:

"Love it? Of course he will! It's a man's idea of really good eating."

Check back soon for more Valentines Day meal ideas!

French Onion Casserole

Ronda Meadows

This dish is similar to French Onion Soup, without the soup. 

It is a quick and easy side.

Cheesy Onion Bake
2-3 Tablespoons butter
3 large sweet onions, sliced thin
2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
1 can cream of chicken soup
2/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon soy sauce
8 or so slices of French bread
Melt butter in a pan over medium heat, and add onions. Saute onions until translucent. In a shallow 2 quart casserole pan, layer onions, 2/3 of cheese and pepper to taste.
In a sauce pan, heat soup, milk, and soy sauce, stirring to blend. Pour soup mixture in a casserole and stir gently to mix. Top with bread slices. Bake at 350 degrees, uncovered, for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, top of bread should be nice and toasted.
Push bread slices under the sauce and top with the remaining cheese. Place casserole back in oven and finish baking for 15 more minutes.

Bitter indeed

I've spent the spring in our new home watching mysterious plants pop up here and there around the small yard. Several types grew quickly and were getting large, so I researched them and discovered they were varieties of dock. You've undoubtedly heard of burdock, or encountered it in the hair of a beloved pet or young child. Dock tends to be aggressively invasive, so I realized it was time for them to go before seeds arrived and they took over.

I've had a longstanding interest in foraging and have nibbled bits of greenery and berries across the decades. All those experiments went well, and I thought small samples were harmless.

(Queue the foreboding music.)

I'd read a decent amount about dock, and knew they were used in lots of traditional medicines. Both leaves and roots were reportedly edible. So when I dug up a root like a fat white carrot, I thought why not give it a try? 

So I ate some. Not much. Probably a piece about the size of a quarter.

It did not go well.

I spent the night in the emergency room. 0/10, would not recommend. 

I've done more googling since coming home, and am still convinced what I ate was dock. It's not clear why I had such a bad reaction. 

As a way to vent my spleen about the experience, I decided to see what sort of vintage cookbooks or recipes might exist for the stuff.

And what, pray tell, did I find? 

I'm trying to imagine the mind of the artist who designed ads for this company, but each time I enter in I get scared and have to slam the door shut on it. But I'm pretty sure they're a close relation to Sweeney Todd.

Here's another of the company's idea of a good time:

Wha wha wha what???

Animals were featured in several ads. Like this inexplicable bit of imagery:

(Is she bleaching her children?)

Sometimes the ads focused on human children rather than puppies.

CHILDREN.

Like this poor wain, whose face seems to be saying, "Please mother, might I have something to eat?"

Then there's this child, who looks downright giddy in contrast. Perhaps they've already enjoyed a few sips of the elixir.

The back of the card is equally charming, plus packed with useful intel:

And then there's this. For which I shall offer no comments.

I'm still recovering from my bad decision making, and am tired. So I'll leave you with one final image:

Startling in its vividness. Shocking in it's timelessness. Ugly on multiple levels, though different from the ugliness of my emergency room experience.

The moral of the story my friends, is to be careful what you eat in your backyard, and who you hire to do your advertising. Blood purity just isn't worth it.

 

Mother's Day was yesterday, in case you forgot

In the world of Mother's Day advertising, including a date reminder seems crucial. Because, as this sweet example points out:

THERE'S NO HURT LIKE FORGETTING

Whitman's chocolates just weren't afraid to bring the guilt vibe.

The hubs and I have been chatting about whether norms have shifted, and if Young People are no longer slaves to the cultural expectations we grew up with about holidays like this one. Let's take a stroll through some ads which underscored our enculturation that celebratory action was required, and which included the date to help reinforce preparation timelines.

Colgate chose a kindler, gentler version of this message, if a bit braggadocios. 

Dairy products even got in on it, though this poor queen looks like she's warding off an attack.

Usually the ads focused on presents, which were frequently candy. But of course chocolates aren't the only gift option. Who wouldn't want a "rubber tyred shopping jeep"?

The gifts below might have come from the heart, but mom herself appears half-hearted.

Maybe she's just tired from dreaming up new casserole recipes to bake in those dishes.

Some gifts are both practical AND appreciated. I'd go bonkers for a mid-century Lane cedar chest if we didn't already have one.

Or maybe mom would just like some... meat. 

So she can cook it. 

For you.

But let's get back to Whitman's, whose marketing department eventually gave up on the guilt tripping, but still focused on the tangible, this time offering a how-to guide.

Last but not least, I'm still trying to figure out the message in the ad below, and the text is a bit too small for these tired motherly eyes to read:

If you have an idea about the scenario in play here, please post it in the comments. I'd love to read it.

Meanwhile, happy Mother's Day to all who should be celebrated!