20th Century Wieners! The Dogs Kids Love to Sprinkle with Parmesan

Everyone loves hotdogs. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. (Click it. You know you want to.)

Armor says it. Oscar Mayer says it. It must be true.

Cutco obviously believed it as well; it includes a whole chapter titled "Wieners."

Here are some kids enjoying a string, as if to prove the songs.

And here's a recipe in case your kids are bored with the same old dog in a bun. (Or cut up into unchokable chunks if they are little.)

If they are anything like my kids when they were young, they'll want nothing to do with this dish. But then, I was a bad parent and didn't teach them to eat what was placed before them. Hopefully you can learn from my mistake and tell them to clean their plate or lose out on the Jello.

I wonder what the 21st Century Weiner will be like?

Suggestions appreciated.

Bitter indeed

I've spent the spring in our new home watching mysterious plants pop up here and there around the small yard. Several types grew quickly and were getting large, so I researched them and discovered they were varieties of dock. You've undoubtedly heard of burdock, or encountered it in the hair of a beloved pet or young child. Dock tends to be aggressively invasive, so I realized it was time for them to go before seeds arrived and they took over.

I've had a longstanding interest in foraging and have nibbled bits of greenery and berries across the decades. All those experiments went well, and I thought small samples were harmless.

(Queue the foreboding music.)

I'd read a decent amount about dock, and knew they were used in lots of traditional medicines. Both leaves and roots were reportedly edible. So when I dug up a root like a fat white carrot, I thought why not give it a try? 

So I ate some. Not much. Probably a piece about the size of a quarter.

It did not go well.

I spent the night in the emergency room. 0/10, would not recommend. 

I've done more googling since coming home, and am still convinced what I ate was dock. It's not clear why I had such a bad reaction. 

As a way to vent my spleen about the experience, I decided to see what sort of vintage cookbooks or recipes might exist for the stuff.

And what, pray tell, did I find? 

I'm trying to imagine the mind of the artist who designed ads for this company, but each time I enter in I get scared and have to slam the door shut on it. But I'm pretty sure they're a close relation to Sweeney Todd.

Here's another of the company's idea of a good time:

Wha wha wha what???

Animals were featured in several ads. Like this inexplicable bit of imagery:

(Is she bleaching her children?)

Sometimes the ads focused on human children rather than puppies.

CHILDREN.

Like this poor wain, whose face seems to be saying, "Please mother, might I have something to eat?"

Then there's this child, who looks downright giddy in contrast. Perhaps they've already enjoyed a few sips of the elixir.

The back of the card is equally charming, plus packed with useful intel:

And then there's this. For which I shall offer no comments.

I'm still recovering from my bad decision making, and am tired. So I'll leave you with one final image:

Startling in its vividness. Shocking in it's timelessness. Ugly on multiple levels, though different from the ugliness of my emergency room experience.

The moral of the story my friends, is to be careful what you eat in your backyard, and who you hire to do your advertising. Blood purity just isn't worth it.

 

Vintage Summer Cookout Recipes

Oh, summer! The air is warm, the days are long, and there's nothing quite like the sizzle of the barbeque grill and the laughter of loved ones filling up the backyard. While modern cookouts often feature gourmet burgers and artisanal sides, sometimes our hearts (and our appetites!) yearn for the simple, comforting flavors of summers past. You know, the kind of dishes your grandma used to whip up that just felt like sunshine and good times.

This year, why not take a delicious trip down memory lane? Dust off those old recipe cards and cookbooks. Let's bring back some vintage summer cookout classics that are as easy to make as they are delightful to devour. Forget the fuss, embrace the flavor, and get ready to create new memories with a dash of old-fashioned charm!

Three Timeless Cookout Treasures

These recipes are cherished for several reasons: they're crowd-pleasers, they travel well, and they embody the spirit of carefree summer days.

1. A quintessential Potato Salad

No summer cookout is complete without a creamy, tangy potato salad. This isn't your fancy, herb-laden version—this is the comforting, classic kind that tastes like childhood.

Ingredients:

3 lbs russet or red potatoes, peeled and cubed

4 hard-boiled eggs, chopped

1 cup mayonnaise (full-fat for that authentic richness!)

1/4 cup yellow mustard

1/4 cup finely chopped celery

1/4 cup finely chopped red onion

2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Salt and black pepper to taste

Paprika for garnish (optional)

2. Old-Fashioned Baked Beans

Step aside, canned beans! These homemade baked beans are sweet, smoky, and simmered to perfection. They're the ultimate companion to grilled hot dogs and hamburgers.

Ingredients:

2 (15-ounce) cans great northern or cannellini beans, rinsed and drained

1/2 cup ketchup

1/4 cup brown sugar, packed

2 tablespoons molasses

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon dry mustard

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

4-5 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled (reserve a little of the drippings!)

1/2 medium onion, finely chopped

3. Summertime Ambrosia Salad

For a touch of retro sweetness, ambrosia salad is a vibrant, fruity dessert that’s light and refreshing. It’s like a party in a bowl!

Ingredients:

1 (15-ounce) can mandarin oranges, drained

1 (20-ounce) can crushed pineapple, well-drained

1 cup shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened, to your preference)

1 cup mini marshmallows

1/2 cup maraschino cherries, halved

1 cup sour cream or plain Greek yogurt (for a tangier twist)

1/2 cup whipped topping (like Cool Whip) or freshly whipped cream

Optional: 1/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts for crunch

There you have it! Three simple yet sensational vintage recipes to get your summer cookout started. These dishes are more than just food; they're an invitation to slow down, savor the moment, and connect with the timeless joy of good company and great cooking.

What are your favorite vintage cookout memories? 

Share them in the comments below!

Cheesy Tuna to Tame that Man-Child Brute

Here's the last entry I'll be posting from Who Says We Can't Cook!, this one filled with savvy advice for today's modern miss and would-be fascinator.

"It is wisdom as old as the hills that the way to get along with a man-child is to feed the brute," Mary Haworth advises readers of our WNPC cook book. "Lots of famous fascinators can't cook but I am convinced that nothing gives a woman greater self-confidence as a woman than the ability to cook well."

Analyzing females and foods, she believes "The womanly woman has a congenital urge to cook well. She cooks to please her man almost as instinctively as the vamp powders her nose."

And, as a final warning, Mary points out, "The lovable woman is a nurturing woman and men don't leave them because 'you can't hardly get them kind no more'."

Her preferred Lenten dish, good any Friday, and heavy enough to please the most masculine appetite is:

Tuna and Mushrooms with Cheese Sauce

Wash and slice 1 3/4 pounds fresh mushrooms and saute in butter or margarine 5 minutes. (Or use canned button mushrooms instead--4 or 5 small cans well drained.) Get approximately 3 pounds white canned tuna, drain off oil and break or cut into fairly large bite-size pieces.

To make the sauce, melt 1/4 pound butter or margarine, blend in 10 tablespoons flour and cook two minutes, stirring constantly. Add to 5 cups heated milk, tablespoon Ac'cent, 1/4 teaspoon saffron, and 2/3 pound very sharp cheese cut into small pieces. If you like, substitute 2/3 cup of sherry for 2/3 cup mil. Cook, stirring constantly, until cheese has melted and the sauce begins to bubble.

Add tuna and mushrooms to sauce. Now season to taste with salt and freshly ground pepper. Serve in chafing dish or casserole. This serves 13, so reduce ingredients proportionately for smaller number. Incidentally, the saffron makes the dish.

Oh, butter...

"Butter rocks. It is the mayonnaise of the cow world."

1. 
   
2. “Bigger. Better. Butter.”

1. 
   
2. “We’re butter together!”

1. 
   
2. “Spread love and butter.”

1. “With enough butter, everything gets better.”

New Cookbook Day! Cutco Meat and Poultry Cookery

It's time for a new cookbook!

Declan found this little beauty for my birthday, and I can't begin to tell you how much joy it gave me.

Best $1.50 she ever spent.

It's a promotional piece produced for the cutlery division of Wear-Ever Aluminum, Inc. in 1961.

Here's what it looks like on the inside front cover:

All the meat you could ever hope for in one place!

The best thing about this book is the illustrations. Oh, the illustrations!

The drawings are done by one Frank Marcello. Unfortunately, I can't find much about him.

He's got quite a sense of humor. I'm surprised that Wear-Ever let him get away with half the stuff he put in. Here are a few classic examples:

You'll be hearing more about the illustrations in coming posts, so for now I'll just comment on this last one.

What the heck is going on in this kitchen? Look at the position of mom's feet. Is she pigeon toed, or is there more to the story? They both seem to be happy about it, though the girl's smile looks just the tiniest bit more genuine to me.

Hmmm.... Let me know what YOU think.

Stay tuned for more meat and illustrated hilarity, 1960s style!

Moxie. Wicked Good Stuff

I'm drinking my first Moxie, even as I type.

It is reputedly the oldest soft drink in America, having been brewed since 1884. I haven't done the research to either confirm or deny this factlet.

All I know is that it definitely is different. No doubt about that. Just take it from this guy:

Moxie. Try it if you can find it in your neck of the woods.

One more reason to make a muffin

A friend from my writing group brought homemade chocolate chip cookies to our meeting last night, saying they were a coping mechanism for managing the stress of egg prices, airplane crashes, and global unrest. In truth, we all looked a bit puffier than we did a few months ago. Food is so often a source of solace.

I'm not much of a baker, but there's something deeply satisfying about mixing up a dough or a batter, popping it in the oven, smelling the smells, and then biting into the warm rewards of those efforts. Our home is currently low-carb for health reasons, so defaulting to an afternoon of baking is more challenging now. 

As an alternative, I went on a hunt for vintage political cookbooks, but the results were disappointing. I did however stumble down a rabbit hole which I'll now invite you to enter: an explanation for why baking is such a comfort.

There are a ton of these little guys wafting around the internet. Most follow this model; a vintage kitchen with a female in period garb looking varyingly happy or deranged. Here are a few more examples.

But a few took a different spin, featuring gadgets, hedgehogs, sloths, and an unsurprising clutter of cats.

I didn't find the cookbooks I was looking for today, but I did discover these treasures, proving the paraphrased wisdom of the prophet McJagger:

One can't always get what one wants (like eating the rich), but one often finds that one does receive what one needs.

Ta-ta for now, I'm off to buy some flour.

Night Night Little Piggies

I started a new writing project this week, and I'm tired tired tired.

So before this little piggy trots off to bed, here are a few creepy vintage pork images found around the interwebs for your twisted viewing pleasure:

Last but not what in the weirdness is this?

Kitchen Snark Coloring book

Do you love cookbooks? Need a distraction from the cares of the world? The Kitchen Snark Coloring Book is here to help! You'll find 50 pages filled with humor, wisdom, memories, and a touch of snark, all waiting for your creative flair. Color the stress away with this timeless book of vintage fun.

Amazon LINK -  https://amzn.to/37JNptD

to create something fun connected to one of my other loves: vintage cookbooks!

Homemade biscuit and homemade chocolate gravy with butter

Melissa Underwood Hodge Gravy:: 1-cup sugar -1-tablespoons butter -1-1/2 cup milk - 2 tablespoons flour -3 -tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder mix together and boil and take a whisper until Thick .. Biscuit::; 2-cups self -rising flour -1-1/3 cup shortening -3/4 cup milk --- shortening into flour add milk and form dough into balls. Place dough onto lightly floured and knead 4-5 times . Roll out to 1/2 inch thick. Cut with biscuit cutter or cup .place on ungreased bake sheet .bake at 425 deg for 15 minutes

Canning as art?

Canning as art form! And I can't manage to make a batch of refrigerator pickles.