Sack O' Sauce in a Can O' Meat

All due thanks to the Cathy Peters and the Gallery of Regrettable Foods for this image:

Just wow.

Of course I had to find more examples for your culinary(?) enjoyment.

This one may be my favorite. Apparently wieners in a can were just the thing to have on hand in case the doorbell rings when you least expect it. It even comes with recipe suggestions, such as "Barbecue wieners stuffed with dressing".

WHAT?

This picture has slightly better image quality so that you can really see the juicy meaty chunks:

Plus check out the little egg shaped guy holding a huge wiener in the lower right corner.

What do you suppose his story is?

The ghost of sack o' sauce past?

Chocolate Fluffernutter Cake

DiDi asked me to make a cake yesterday. She'd bought a Duncan Hines Dark Chocolate Fudge cake mix and a container of Betty Crocker Whipped Fluffy White Frosting.

  

Being a self-sacrificing sort, I complied.

I'd feel like a poser if I made a cake from a box without kicking things up a notch, so I substituted sour cream for the oil in the recipe and threw in 1/4 bag of mini chocolate chips.

She'd asked for coconut in the icing. Unfortunately I didn't have any, which is a mystery, because the last I knew there were two bags in the cabinet. Is shredded coconut like socks in the laundry, disappearing without a trace?

I wouldn't think so. But I can't explain it.

After accepting my apologies graciously, DiDi's second request was that I melt some peanut butter flavored chocolate chips and spread it around on top.

(I don't suppose I should call them chocolate chips when they aren't chocolate. But "baking chips" sounds a bit snooty, and this way you all know what I mean.)

Turns out the Whipped Fluffy White frosting is rather marshmallowy, and reminds me of Fluff.

I melted the chips with a bit of oil to help with consistency, and poured it in stripes atop the frosted cake, then pulled a spatula through in an attempt to make it look fancy. The peanut butter goo was a bit thick to cooperate fully, but the marbling wasn't bad. And the flavor combo is an absolute winner!

Yum! DiDi's suggestion was brilliant!  It was like a fluffernutter sandwich with chocolate cake as the bread!

Next time I might just mix peanut butter with confectioners sugar and milk to make a softer consistency... the chip goo hardened back up so that the prettiness factor is disrupted in the cutting. But other than that, the combination is fabulous.

Luckily we had guests last night so we aren't forced to eat the whole thing ourselves. Because that would be sad.

Wouldn't it?

Two Super Bowl Menus. One Lesson Learned.

I was told that since I am now a resident of New England, I am required to be a fan of the Sox, the Pats, and the Celtics.

(Celts?)

Given that the Patriots are playing in the Super Bowl this weekend, I figured I should develop a menu which proves my allegiance. Thought it should have an appropriate color scheme and use signature New England ingredients like cranberries, maple syrup, clams, and blueberries.

Here's what I came up with.

Snacky

Ranch Style Oyster Crackers

Patriotic Chips and North Shore Clam Dip

Red, White and Blue Nachos

Meaty

Spicy Cranberry Meatballs

Cranberry Glazed Bacon Jalapeno Bites

Mini Ballpark Dogs

Desserty

Blueberry, Blackberry, and Strawberry Skewers with MapleNilla Sauce

Nantucket Cranberry Pie

Believe it or not, I even considered forcing in some baked beans and brown bread, in the form of a finger sandwich.

And then I realized: No. Just No.

Issues of this great an import need to be left to the experts.

So this is what I'll be serving on Sunday:

• Buffalo Chicken Wings
• Helluva Good French Onion Dip with wavy potato chips
• Some sort of frozen bread pocket appetizer thingy that's supposed to taste like potato skins
• Red, White, and Blue Nachos (These are apparently standard enough to stay on the list.)
• Mini hot dogs in grape jelly and barbecue sauce
• Veggies and dip (as a nod to actual nutrition)

I think even Tebow would approve of the change. Hopefully he prayed for me.

Happy Groundhog Day, Country Style!

Hope you planned ahead, because this little guy needs to a cure for a few days before cooking.

Country Style Groundhog

1 groundhog
1/2 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/4 tsp. soda
1/4 c. cooking oil
1/2 tsp. sugar

NOTE: Clean and skin as soon as possible. Remove all scent glands. Cut off head, feet and tail. Cure in cool place by suspending from hook approximately 4 days. When ready to cook, lard according to recipe.

Dress groundhog as for rabbit, removing the small sacs in the back and under the forearm. Soak groundhog overnight in salted water to remove wild flavor. Combine flour, salt, pepper and soda; rub into groundhog pieces. Brown groundhog in hot oil in skillet; sprinkle with sugar. Reduce heat; add 1/2 cup water. Cover; simmer for about 30 minutes or until tender. Remove cover; cook for 10 minutes longer.

Valentine Luncheon Menus: Veal Croquettes, Sunshine Sauce, and Gay Garnishes!

Planning lunch for your honey on Valentine's Day? Here are a few menus suggested in Meals Tested Tasted and Approved, published by the Good Housekeeping Institute in 1933.

..... 1 .....

Tomato Bouillon

Jellied Crab Meat Salad

Clover Biscuits

Steamed Chocolate Pudding

Sunshine Sauce (Recipe at the bottom of this post)

Coffee

 

..... 2 .....

Fruit Cocktail

Veal Croquettes with Tomato Sauce

Baking Powder Biscuits

Celery stuffed with Cheese

Strawberry Ice Cream in Heart Molds

Cake

..... 3 .....

Chicken Bouillon

Creamed Scallops and Mushrooms on Toast

Pimiento Sandwiches

Radish Roses

Celery Hearts

Tangerine Tapioca

Sponge Drops

Candy Hearts

Coffee

..... 4 .....

Cream of Celery Soup

Croutons cut in Heart Shapes

Chicken Mousse

Green Peas

Potato Chips

Raspberry Ice Cream

Cake

Coffee

Sunshine Sauce

2 egg yolks
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup heavy cream

Beat the egg yolks, add sugar and vanilla and beat together. Just before serving add the cream which has been whipped until stiff.

What IS it About Buffalo Wings?

It's time for a snack food revolution. Something new for sports-related high holidays such as the Super Bowl.

All the food Facebook pages, blogs, etc. are talking about chicken wings, so I'm trying to break down what makes them so darned popular. Not to mention delicious.

The wings themselves are crispy, unctious, chewy, salty, spicy, and vinegary. The typical accompaniament of blue cheese sauce adds creaminess, additional saltiness, and a touch of bitter tartness. Celery contrasts everything with its palate cleansingly cool crunch.

In other words, Buffalo wings provide every flavor profile except sweet. (Some versions even add that, though I can't approve of them. Nor should they include the word "Buffalo" in their name.)

Have a look at the birthplace of these tangy treats:

You can learn more about their history at the bar's website: http://www.anchorbar.com/.

When discussing Buffalo wings, you can't not talk about hot sauce. In this case, the king of hot sauces. Frank's RedHot Sauce.

Apparently some people put the stuff on EVERYTHING.

But back to my initial premise. The combination of hot, spicy, crunchy, tart, crispy, smooth, cool and creamy is obviously a winner.

Now to come up with an alternative and start the next big Super Bowl snacking craze...

No pressure. I've got four days.



Product Recommendation: Betty Crocker Gingerbread Mix

Some of you may be thinking I'm a month or so late with this post, and I admit: those some have a point.

For the record, I did write a post about gingerbread in that most gingerbready of seasons. But since the weather here is only beginning to get frightful, it's still a great time of year for warm, spicy cake, fresh out of the oven.

And that's what I made this afternoon.

My oh my was it good.

I don't usually do product recommendations, but in this case I have to make an exception. Here's why.

1. The mix only requires water and 1 egg. (True confession time: I was out of eggs, and so substituted an egg-sized dollop of mayonnaise.)
2. The directions call for mixing it together right in the baking pan. No extra dishes to wash! LOVE!
3. The smell was heavenly, and the gingerbread is moist, flavorful, soft, spicy, and tender.

It almost literally could not be easier. And I don't mean virtually. I mean literally.

I think this mix is going to become a pantry staple. Not only is it great for whipping together something warm and sweet on a snowy, blowy day, I'm already thinking up ways it could be glammed up when I need an easy to prepare dessert  to complete a meal I've fussed over for friends.

Give it a try. You just might love it.

Shooting's Fun for Everyone... Except the Squirrels

Just for the record, this is not a political statement. I'm neither for nor against guns. But golly gee, this is just such a great picture that I had to post it!

Just in case you've been out having some fun and it is squirrel hunting season in your neck of the woods, here's a recipe for you.

That danged squirrel practically cooks itself!

Serve with rice, especially if you need to feed a crowd.

You Had Me at "Imitation Flavor"

I do believe I could devote an entire blog to Jell-o in all its vintage goodness.

Take this fine specimen:

As if mixed vegetable isn't enough, this is imitation flavor.

I don't understand. How on earth could it be easier to create a fake version of the flavor of mixed veggies than to cook or dehydrate them down and distill their essence?

Better eating through chemistry I suppose.

Here are some pictures of what used to be made from this stuff. Be inspired.

I like this last one best of all. Nothing says loving like eyeball, celery, and American cheese Jell-o.

Saved by Celery!

Finally help for the rheumatic sole.

Imagine: 26 pounds of celery power in each tiny perle! Who has time to eat that much celery? My jaws would be tired after the first seven.

To heck with buying decent shoes. I'm off to find some Fuller Celery Perles.

Two Great Hates that Go Great Together!

I happen to love both Spam and Lima beans, but I am, admittedly, in the minority.

And what better way to make the combination of Spam and Lima beans even more objectionable to the average Joe? Spice it up with a "Spanish" sauce containing sugar and lard!

Oh Spam. You are so very ah-inspiring.

Christmas Wishes

I've been too busy working and baking to post over the past few days!

My guess is that you've been too busy to read, so it probably all works out for the best.

Hoping you have the very merriest of Christmases.

Brazilian Colonel Cake

This recipe makes me very, very happy.

Just look at its Brazil-nutty goodness!

I love Brazil nuts. Before moving to New England I would buy them pre-shelled in the bulk section of a nearby Wegmans über grocery store (go Wegmans!). The stores in my new little town don't carry them.

But now, thanks to THIS recipe, I can stock up while the nuts are plentiful at Christmas time, and shell them in a big batch!

Can you say WOOT?!?

And while I'm nattering on about nuts, I've got a complaint to make.

When I Google Brazil nut recipes, it comes up with a measly 271,000 results. Contrast that with pecan recipes which get 13,800,000. Walnut recipes come in at 14,400,000.

Why, oh why?

Yes, they are a bit hard to shell. But I'm sure it's more an issue of cost and availability. Brazil nuts are grown in rain forests, of which the U.S. has few. They also apparently require special bee-attracting orchids for pollination.

Sigh...

Guess it's time to build a bio-dome in the back yard. Can't put it off forever.

And while I'm waiting for it to be finished, and for the trees to reach maturity, and for the orchids to thrive, I'll read this little booklet and plan what to make from the fruits of all this labor:

Colonel Nut, I salute you!

Jell-o Cranberries -n- Cream?

I think I'm going to turn this into a holiday recipe by adding a can of cranberry sauce:

I might substitute raspberry Jell-o though. Or cranberry.

And I don't dig the shape, so I'd probably make them in foil mini cupcake papers instead of an ice cube tray.

Now what could I use as a garnish?

Candle Lit Crown Head Bread (Thank you St. Lucy!)

I can't believe I missed St. Lucia Day! It was December 13, but in my view it's never too late to celebrate a cool saint, and to bake something delicious.

First, a tribute to Lucy from the King.

Next, a bit about the saint. She was born into a wealthy family in about 283 and consecrated her virginity to God. She was killed during the Diocletion persecution, after refusing to wed her pagan betrothed. Prior to her death, Lucia either plucked her own eyes out as a gift to her fiance in hope of being allowed to live and worship her God in peace, or had them torn out with a fork by guards.

Because of this, she is the patron saint of the blind, and is frequently depicted carrying her eyes in a platter or vessel. Check it out:

Wow.

She is honored in many places, including Sweden and Sicily.

There are a variety of recipes associated with St. Lucy, including cookies formed by special eye shaped presses, and a wheat-berry pudding (la cuccìa) that has been eaten traditionally ever since she provided assistance during a famine by sending a ship full of wheat into a starving port town.

You can Google those if you'd like to do a complete St. Lucia's Day feast, or if you'd like to try something a bit better suited to American tastes, here's a recipe for :

Sicilian St. Lucy's Day CrownSanta Lucia Crown 

[Makes 1 crown.]

 INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup warm water
1 package active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon saffron powder
4 1/4 to 4 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 eggs
powdered sugar frosting, optional (recipe follows)
red and green candied cherry halves, optional
6 candles, optional

Place 1/4 cup warm water in large warm bowl. Sprinkle in yeast; stir until dissolved. Add remaining water, warm milk, sugar, butter, salt, saffron, and 1 1/2 cups flour; blend well. Stir in 2 eggs and enough remaining flour to make soft dough. Knead on lightly floured surface until smooth and elastic, about 6--8 minutes. Place in greased bowl, turning to grease top. Cover; let rise in warm, draft-free place until doubled in size, about 1 hour. Punch dough down. Remove dough to lightly floured surface; reserve 1/3 of dough for top of crown. Divide remaining dough into 3 equal pieces; roll each to 25-inch rope. Braid ropes. Place braid on greased baking sheet. Form braid into circle; pinch ends together to seal. To shape top of crown, divide reserved dough into 3 equal pieces; roll each to 16-inch rope. Braid ropes. Place braid on separate greased baking sheet. Form braid into circle; pinch ends together to seal. Cover braids; let rise in warm, draft-free place until doubled in size, about 1 hour. Lightly beat remaining egg; brush on braids. Bake at 375 F for 15 minutes or until done (small braid) and 25 minutes or until done (large braid), covering large braid with foil during last 10 minutes to prevent excess browning. Remove braids from baking sheets; let cool on wire racks. To decorate, make 6 holes for candles in small braid. Place small braid on top of large braid. If desired, drizzle with powdered sugar frosting and garnish with candied cherry halves. Insert candles in prepared holes.

 Powdered Sugar Frosting: In small bowl, combine 1 cup powdered sugar, sifted; 4 to 5 teaspoons milk; and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract. Stir until smooth.

Angel Pie with a Bite

Cranberry that is!

I'm beginning to think the term "Angel Pie" is used for a wide variety of pie types.

This recipe has several of my favorite flavors; orange, cranberry, and walnuts.

Here's a blown up version of the recipe:

When I make this, I think I'll substitute orange juice for the boiling water and added some orange zest to boost the orangeyness. And I'm not sure I'd want to disrupt the filling with the texture of walnuts.

Soaking in Jell-o does weird things to nuts.

I think I'd just work the nuts into the crumb crust instead.

But that's the way I roll; if a recipe ain't broke, mess with it.

Creamy Green Beany Oniony Goodness

One word:

Green bean casserole!

Just a few simple ingredients plus pepper and you are good to go!

Three great tastes that go great together.

Make some for your next holiday gathering. Throw in some chopped water chestnuts or canned mushrooms if you feel the need to switch it up.

But do it. You won't be sorry.

The Most Beautiful Oven I've Ever Seen!

A toy which transformed Christmas gifting for girls forever! A way to bake their very own cakes without the danger of getting burned! 

(Wait. I managed to burn myself. And my survey of one other person proves that this is a statistically significant occurrence.) 

With Easy-Bake's advent, training for being the perfect little wife could start earlier than ever before.

Enjoy these pictures of Easy-Bake ads from the past. Then rush out and buy your little trainee one. 

Chocolate Nut Drops? You Decide.

This recipe is undoubtedly tasty. How can you go wrong with chocolate, walnuts, and icing?

But I have to admit, in a week in which my naughty puppy unscrewed the lid of a 1/2 full jar of dry roasted peanuts and consumed them, the picture brought to mind something else:

Go reindeer!